It's
my birthday.
I am 17 X 2 years old. I feel (for better and for worse) 17 X 1 years old.
So, I confered with some poeple and they said it was ok to think that I am 17. Or, rather, believe it. So, there you go.
It's all relative because 3-ish years ago I felt like I was in my mid-forties.
But forget about my stupid birthday.
This hurricane stuff is making me sick. I am really fucking mad at our government and what seems to be their huge failure at doing what they say they are supposed to do, which is protect us. Maybe I am not being fair. If I am not being fair then I apologize.
Like, weren't funds diverted away from re-building that levee or whatever? It wasn't the hurricane, apparently, but the bursting of the dam that done did all the damage.
And I'm fucking mad at myself. Maybe this is obnoxious, entitled, and in its own way, unfeeling, but I post an open apology to the residents of LA and MISS: I am so, so sorry. I did NOT ungerstand how dire your situation was until yesterday. I just didn't get it and I am afraid I was cavalier in my prayers, my offhand comments, and frivolous in my thoughts. I apologize for not realizing the seriousness of this as it unfolded.
Fuck. Would that more was done more quickly.
More than 10,000 feared dead-- is that REALLY possible? REALLY????
And then I'm like, fuck, who cares what I say or feel or think? This isn't about me.
That's right. This is about all of us. That we quit being cavalier. That we treat each other kindly. That we work to do good in the world, in all the ways we can. That we not be deluded that racism is dead. I think I'm going to join the NAACP tomorrow (and I ain't Black, for those of you who don't know). That we remember each other in our prayers. That we remain sober and watchful, all of us. That we respect the power of nature. That we love and fear the Lord. That we inform ourselves. That we know without a damn doubt that there but for the Grace of God goes any of us but that we don't mistake our saftey for God's grace-- so God likes us but not THEM? That makes no sense. That we invoke the presence of God among us with our actions. That we all be prepared, wise virgins and full lamps. Whatever that means. However we mean it. That we reach out to each other and not be afraid. That we accept the hands of our brothers and sisters when they reach out to us and we not be apathetic. That we refrain from saying shit like "life must go on..." Of course it must. And it will. But no one wants to hear that right now. That America humble herself collectively. That we learn compassion BETTER. That we don't call grabbing a loaf of bread out of fear and hunger "looting." That those of us with voices learn to speak up, learn to raise them. That the beauty and fragility of life be revered. We are all so fragile. All of us, so fucking fragile.
In the name of Jesus Christ, that is what I pray. For whatever it's worth.
I am 17 X 2 years old. I feel (for better and for worse) 17 X 1 years old.
So, I confered with some poeple and they said it was ok to think that I am 17. Or, rather, believe it. So, there you go.
It's all relative because 3-ish years ago I felt like I was in my mid-forties.
But forget about my stupid birthday.
This hurricane stuff is making me sick. I am really fucking mad at our government and what seems to be their huge failure at doing what they say they are supposed to do, which is protect us. Maybe I am not being fair. If I am not being fair then I apologize.
Like, weren't funds diverted away from re-building that levee or whatever? It wasn't the hurricane, apparently, but the bursting of the dam that done did all the damage.
And I'm fucking mad at myself. Maybe this is obnoxious, entitled, and in its own way, unfeeling, but I post an open apology to the residents of LA and MISS: I am so, so sorry. I did NOT ungerstand how dire your situation was until yesterday. I just didn't get it and I am afraid I was cavalier in my prayers, my offhand comments, and frivolous in my thoughts. I apologize for not realizing the seriousness of this as it unfolded.
Fuck. Would that more was done more quickly.
More than 10,000 feared dead-- is that REALLY possible? REALLY????
And then I'm like, fuck, who cares what I say or feel or think? This isn't about me.
That's right. This is about all of us. That we quit being cavalier. That we treat each other kindly. That we work to do good in the world, in all the ways we can. That we not be deluded that racism is dead. I think I'm going to join the NAACP tomorrow (and I ain't Black, for those of you who don't know). That we remember each other in our prayers. That we remain sober and watchful, all of us. That we respect the power of nature. That we love and fear the Lord. That we inform ourselves. That we know without a damn doubt that there but for the Grace of God goes any of us but that we don't mistake our saftey for God's grace-- so God likes us but not THEM? That makes no sense. That we invoke the presence of God among us with our actions. That we all be prepared, wise virgins and full lamps. Whatever that means. However we mean it. That we reach out to each other and not be afraid. That we accept the hands of our brothers and sisters when they reach out to us and we not be apathetic. That we refrain from saying shit like "life must go on..." Of course it must. And it will. But no one wants to hear that right now. That America humble herself collectively. That we learn compassion BETTER. That we don't call grabbing a loaf of bread out of fear and hunger "looting." That those of us with voices learn to speak up, learn to raise them. That the beauty and fragility of life be revered. We are all so fragile. All of us, so fucking fragile.
In the name of Jesus Christ, that is what I pray. For whatever it's worth.
posted by Jill at 1:08 AM
6 Comments:
First off Happy Birthday, the world is better off for having you be born into, if not alone for the beautiful prayers you tell to God on our behalf. Secondly, no one was really aware of how bad things were until recently, nobody could get there. I mean newscasters have been there for only a couple of days, and the Armed Forces or still having trouble, I feel that is a little backwards, and the really sad part. Not that the press shouldn't be there, but it took Bush so long to do something and all these poor people had to die because of it.
Happy Birthday!!! I got an e-mail saying it was your birthday along with Amy Root and Sarah Orne Jewett (sp?). Hope you have a wonderful birthday! As far as the LA and MISS thing we have already donated a nice sum of money to the cause and our bank matched the price. So it should help! In response to Pink Jaunita they didn't die because Bush wasn't there to see them sooner they died because it was there time to go and regardless of the Hurricane it was there time to depart from this Earth. It just happens that it was a Hurricane could have been a massive car accident, etc. It's in the Divine plan and they are all hopefully in a better place right now. Wether Bush was there or not, he's just a man doing what he knows to do best in his situation. People are so openly free to criticize when they are not in other peoples positions. Anyway Sorry Jill about my rant but the Bush bashing is really getting on my nerves. HOpe you had an awesome Birthday.
Jilly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I'm Glad God made you :)
I think all of the people with hearts and souls cannot help but feel how we do... we just need to continue praying..and know that God is all over this situation.
My daddy personally believes that something like this happened to 'wake up" a lot of these people who have so much faith in the government and believe that they are protected by the them. It's a real shitty, nation and world we are living in..the more people that catch this drift.. the better elections will turn out...I dunno, hopefully I guess..
I hope this all made since..i am extremely hungover right now...
but I LOVE YOU!!! and please..please try and have some good times on this wonderful day...YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY PRINCESS :)
aww..f*ck that..the BIRTHDAY QUEEN!!
happy birthday! wohoo -- cake!
Happy Birhtday Jill! I know I've been slack in keeping up with people. But I'm going to be subbing at the local school. Fun, uh?
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